It's me, Ficus again.

So. Peterborough. Smells nice here. I've got a lot of space.

I have to admit The Blonde One can be really embarrassing: if I've "gone too far" she comes to pick me up. Seriously. Get over it, lady. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have your "Mum" come and pick you up in front of your buddies? I have legs lady. I can walk home. And no, I am not high on the catnip and trying to hide my eyes. I just want to go out sometimes.

About my neighbours. They're brothers, but I think they're brothers from other mothers. One is named Peepers. Or so I thought. Suddenly everyone is calling him PIPpers. Pippy my ass. He's not so PIPpy. You should hear some of the shit that comes out of his mouth. Anyway, maybe I'm being a little sensitive.....Smelly Feet has decided to feed Pipers some of MY treats. I guess he's not so bad. I mean....he does come to visit me every morning. We DID nap today. He does know an awful lot about the 'hood. He warned me about his brother, Jack. Jack-ass. He had the nerve to growl at me today. Bring it Jack. I'm fatter than you. Really, Give Peace a Chance, man.

Anyway, dinner time. Gotta jet, obviously.