July, a month like no other

Hey humans. How's it going? And don't start complaining about the weather- you caused it (google: global warming) so deal with it. Must admit though, July's been pretty damp. Seriously cramping my social life. You want to know why cats don't like the rain? 'Cause we can't hold onto umbrellas- we don't have thumbs, morons! So I've been spending a lot more time indoors doing my nap research. But that's not easy either. The big, smelly German shepherd is still around so I've got to skulk around to avoid him. Don't get me wrong, I can handle him. He definitely doesn't want one of my claw-filled roundhouses to his ugly snout. But I've been controlling myself. The beast doesn't know any better, I mean, he's a dog. The guy can't even go outside without a rope tied to him, what a clown! And you want to know something freakin' hilarious? Smelly Feet and Blondie walk around the block (yawn) with him tied to the rope and collect his crap in plastic bags!! I almost burst a gut the first time I saw this. They actually wait while he drops one, then pick it up in a bag and then bring it home with them!!! As you kids say LMAO!!!

So I haven't seen to much of Pippers this month. He has no self control when it comes to the dog. I've tried to tell him: "Dude, relax... it's just a dog", but he lets his instincts take over and next thing you know they're scrapping. The end result is usually the dog gets scratched on the nose and Pippers runs and hides and risks cardiac arrest. Take some cat nip buddy. Remember, we're cats, we run things.

Well, it's raining again. Surprise! I'm heading upstairs to work on my thesis.

Did I tell you about the bat in the basement? Maybe next time. Sayonara, suckas!

Just when you thought you'd seen it all...

A dog. Can you freaking believe it? A dog. Smelly Feet left for a couple days and comes back with a fancy new car and a dog. A big, smelly, wants to constantly niff you and bark at you, German shepherd dog. So needless to say it's hard to get some attention around here. The dog, his name's Shango... what kind of freakin' name is Shango? Well the dog eats my food but he's afraid to go upstairs for some reason so I eat up there lately. The other night the crazed canine tried to chase me around the house and got punished by being sent to the mud room. Ha! Show him to mess with numero uno in this casa. So, yeah, I'm spending a lot more time upstairs and outside these days. Pippers freakin' hates Shango. Took a swipe at him the first time they met. Atta boy Pip. Show that mofo dog who runs things.

You think my fur made a mess? Man, this thing makes his own carpets. There is hair everywhere! And my stools smell like roses next to this beast. I tried some of Shango's food today. Horrible. I yakked. No wonder his loofies reek.

I'll write some more later but here comes the dog again so I'm heading upstairs for a nap. Did I tell you about my all-nighter last night? Blondie and Smelly Feet left me out all night long! But that's another story.